Kinds of Love

In the name of Allah

I have a lovely friend, Fatima. We know each other since living in the dormitory of university

In the dormitory, everybody liked Fatima and enjoyed living and speaking with her. She made everybody happy and her absence and presence were completely clear. Her home was very far from the university and she went to home rarely. So, when she went home, she did like to stay more.

One day, she went to home and had to come back for an affair. But that affair canceled and I understood since I was at the university. One of our roommates asked me that night: "did you hear that the affair has been canceled?"

  I said: "yes, and I called Fatima to tell her stay home more."

She wondered, "why did you do that? Don’t you like Fatima? Don’t you want her to be next to you?"

Of course I did like, I did love Fatima very much and she knew.

It was only the difference between my definition of love and her definition:

•   I love you means: I enjoy being with you and I like you to be next to me; even if you are not happy with me.
  

•   I love you means: I like something happen to make you happy. I like to do everything for you; even if it makes me to be in hardship.
  

I told this story for some of my relatives and friends. All of them agreed that the first one is not the meaning of love; it is a kind of “being selfish”. The valuable love is the second one.

Frankly, I thought so much ..  there is a problem .. When you love someone in the second way, you want to do something to make your lover happy. You will be a slave in some sense. You will do anything to make him or her happy; maybe without thinking; even if it is “saying lie”, “killing someone” (!) or any other faults.

This kind of love can make someone more valuable or less.

If you choose a worthy lover, you will do something valuable to make him or her happy, and you will be a more valuable person; and vice-versa.

Now, suppose that you fall in the love with someone who loves you too in the second way, knows your need, does something to satisfy you, and wants you to be a perfect person; wants you to never lie, to be kind with people, to be brave and so on;

Not for the sake of himself, but for the sake of yourself.

In this case, you will grow up with the aid of this love. You will change yourself into a worthy person.

Choose your lover carefully, choose a worthy one.

Love the unique God (Allah), who is the most worthy lover.